Finding Esme Read online

  “Why did you come back, Granger?”

  “I don’t know. I’m tired and I’m hungry. Never been more hungry in my life.”

  “Why don’t you come home with me,” I said. “Bee will make you something. Everything will be okay.”

  He laughed at that, then shook his head. I opened the door and walked down the steps, thinking about Finch, thinking about what I was about to do. I picked up Jewell and held her close. She smelled of mint and herbs. Then finally Granger came out and followed us home.

  When we walked through the kitchen door, Bee was baking her famous peach pies to take them to the Ames house where people were gathering for Miss Lilah’s funeral. June Rain took Jewell from me and quickly left the kitchen. Bee didn’t hardly say a word to Granger, but she fixed him a heaping plate of leftovers, then got him a piece of pie. When he was finished, she picked up the phone and called Sheriff Finney.

  Later that afternoon, after the sheriff had taken Granger away, I thought about going to see Finch to explain what I’d done, but I didn’t have the courage to do it. Finally I went up Solace Hill. The professor nodded to me and handed me something that looked like a tiny toothbrush, then showed me what to do. We worked side by side, me brushing the dust away from her backbone while he carefully worked on her teeth.

  He didn’t say a thing when I occasionally wiped away tears. Perhaps he thought I was wiping away sweat, but whatever he thought he didn’t say a word. With each bit of dirt we removed, I knew I was one step closer to the day when Louella Goodbones would leave us.

  “How long?” I asked, after an hour or so had passed.

  “Several months,” he answered. “Maybe longer. Sometimes it takes years. The earth is soft here, from all the rain. I’ll be bringing more help in, of course.”

  “Your assistants?”

  “Yes, and students, too, a few who are working on getting their degrees.” He took a long gulp from a water canister.

  It occurred to me that his nickname, T. Rex, really didn’t fit him at all. Not really. I watched him work like an artist on Louella Goodbones. Although he was a big man, there was something gentle about him.

  “What does it take, Professor T.?”

  He paused a moment, running his hand through his hair. “To do what, Esme?”

  “To become like you,” I said, embarrassed for some reason. Ridiculous. Someone like me hoping to go to a university, learn big words. And go away.

  “A paleontologist?” he said, smiling a little. “Is that something that you’d like to be, Esme McCauley?”

  I shrugged. He went back to his scraping and then said, “Four years of undergraduate work; mine was in geology. Then a master’s, later, if you want, a doctorate. It takes many years, patience, and work. But more than anything, it’s about honoring the things that came before us, a love for the earth beneath your feet. It’s as simple as that, Esme.” He glanced over at me from under his hat as I ran my hand across Louella Goodbones’s snout. Loving the earth and what came before us.

  “Why hasn’t your grandmother been up here?” the professor asked after a while. “To look around.”

  “She won’t come up here, ever. My grandfather—Paps—died here. Several months ago.” But I knew it was more than that, lots more that she wouldn’t tell me.

  Later that day I biked to Finch’s house but no one was home. I rode on into Hollis to the Just Teasin’. I leaned my bike against the window and went in. There were three ladies under the hair dryers, but they all popped them up like jack-in-the-boxes when I came in. June Rain was setting a perm, while Jewell slept nearby in her carrier.

  June Rain looked calm and peaceful. I kept thinking about what Granger had said about that man, that he’d come looking for someone he knew. Could it have been her Uncle Hen? Something down deep told me not to tell her, that her past was connected to all her bad spells. It wasn’t just us, it was all that came before; even if a bird had once made a nest in his beard, it wasn’t a happy story or she wouldn’t be here hiding from it all.

  “You did the right thing, honey,” Sweetmaw whispered, handing me a bottle of Dr Pepper. Apparently the sheriff had already called her. “Sheriff Trueitt said since Granger’s a minor and came home of his own accord, he won’t be in big trouble.” She whispered even lower. “Spoon’s off on a bender, but his mama, she’s already at the station. Sheriff True-itt’s letting her visit with him a short while till he finishes questioning him.”

  Oh, God. Finch. I’m sorry. I turned away, briefly catching June Rain’s eye. She smiled with that dreamy nothing’s-going-on-in-my-head look, and I slunk down in one of the salon chairs, wishing I could disappear.

  “I hear you found some bones up on Solace Hill,” Lottie Broadway said as June Rain put a roller in her hair.

  I didn’t think I could open my mouth right now even if there was chocolate nut angel pie in front of me.

  “Bones?” Miss Vera joined in from under her dryer. “Bones?”

  Lottie leaned over and screamed in her ear, “Dinosaur bones! They found some dinosaur bones!”

  And suddenly Finch was there outside the window, panting, his eyes wild. He looked like he’d run all the way from home. I stepped outside and walked down the sidewalk away from prying eyes.

  “I just heard,” he said, and I had to look away. “You found Granger and brought him home.”

  “Finch,” I began. “I . . . I . . .” But then he pulled me to him and hugged me, like he was never going to let go and I hugged him back, as though my life depended on it, too, that if I let go we’d be swallowed into the earth, right here on the sidewalk in downtown Hollis. And I knew then I’d done the right thing and that tiny ray of hope that was curled up inside of me unfurled a tiny bit more.

  Chapter 17

  All heck broke loose the next morning. The Hollis Register put the photo of Professor T. and me right on the front page—I looked like I’d just rolled out of bed, my big ears sticking out through my messy cocoon hair, and there was an ink mark across my lip, like I had a moustache. The story of Granger being detained was tiny, buried in the paper, with no mention, thank God, that it was me who’d found him. Bee brought the paper in just as the phone started ringing, and it didn’t stop for hours. The news had spread across the wires, whatever those were, and people interested in the dinosaur bones, reporters, collectors, museums, all of them were calling Bee. She was cussing herself out that she’d shaken hands on a deal with the professor.

  We were supposed to be getting ready for Miss Lilah’s funeral at the Holy Mercy Church of Abiding Faith. But as we scurried around, cars started pulling up to the house, lookey-loos wanting to get a gander at Louella Goodbones. It hurt more than anything in the world to think of all these people traipsing up my hill, walking all over her, and Paps. Old Jack galloped around the house barking up a storm as we all ran outside. Luckily the professor turned them away, explaining the damage they could do, and Bee put a makeshift “No Trespassing” sign up at the front of the drive. The professor went back to work and we drove off in the Bee Wagon, the smell of peach pies wafting up from the way back.

  June Rain came with us. She hadn’t stepped foot in a church forever, but she came all right. Bee’d put her foot down and said pigs, even if they were gussied up, were not allowed in church, so Jewell was home in her enclosure. June Rain had on her best dress, that one with embroidered roses that Harlan had bought her in Mexico, and her hair was all shiny. She’d put on a little of her Charisma perfume that Harlan had given her for Christmas three years ago. I glanced back at her and smiled and she smiled back.

  I turned back around wondering why she was doing better. I was worried that the suitcase under her bed was packed. My feet started to vibrate, but they quieted down as we pulled into the church parking lot. Sweetmaw arrived just as we did and walked in with us.

  Everyone was looking at us slyly during the sermon. We sat next to Miss Opal in the front row, because she had no one else, no family to tend to her. Reverend Hopper
talked about Miss Lilah’s long life and good heart, and Bee snorted, then pretended to wipe her nose.

  I kept looking for Finch, hoping he’d come and finally he did, slipping into the pew next to me. Bo colored on the church bulletin with the orange crayon Bee let him bring in his pocket. I glanced down and saw that his picture was a bunch of swirls and blobs and looked a lot like Harlan’s work, only better, and I realized then how childlike Harlan’s paintings were, so quickly done, but with a purpose, and that was a good thing in its own way.

  I glanced back and saw Dove and Rose and Mady sitting in the back. Dove and Rose smiled at me, and I knew it was for more than just being famous in the newspaper.

  Something was really bothering Bee. She kept shifting around in her seat and scratching at her arms. Maybe it was the deal she’d made with the professor. Maybe she was thinking we could’ve gotten more money. But I was at peace with it. He’d take care of Louella, and I knew it had to be enough to save the farm. Bee used to say not to ever ask God for more than He gives you. It was enough, and that was all that mattered. But then something deep down inside began to gnaw at me, too. An inkling. A slow buzz in the pit of my stomach. Then in my toes, which I started tapping on the floor trying to make it go away. I didn’t need to find anything more, not ever again. I started wiggling around in my seat, too, till Bee pinched me.

  As we started to file out of the church one by one, everyone greeting us and remarking on the dinosaur bones, and others patting Finch’s head and telling him everything was going to be all right, my feet started to vibrate in earnest. By the time we got in the Bee Wagon and were heading down the road, they were on fire.

  Bee was still acting funny. She drove right past the Ames property, her foot on the gas, not even looking at all the other cars pulling in for the after-the-funeral gathering.

  “Sweetmaw will be wondering where . . .” June Rain trailed off.

  There was complete silence in the car as we turned down our drive, past our new “No Trespassing” sign. Bee took her foot off the gas then, going real slow now, looking to the right then the left. Then she rolled down her window and I saw her nostrils flare, like Old Jack when he picks up a scent.

  Sugar Pie was free again, and Old Jack was barking somewhere, and Jewell’s little face peered at us from her enclosure. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But the hair on my neck stood straight up.

  June Rain saw it first. She was out of the Wagon before Bee had even pulled it to a complete stop. Bee cussed as she slammed the brakes. Then Bo squealed like a mouse and he jumped out of the car, too. Finch put his hand on my leg as though to brace me for what was to come. I could see something big and white at the top of Solace Hill billowing in the wind and I realized what it was; the professor had set up a work tent over Louella Goodbones. Then Finch turned my chin toward what was right in front of us. Harlan’s truck.

  Chapter 18

  I leaned against the Bee Wagon as my family scurried up the steps and through the screen door.

  I stared at the tent on Solace Hill. The professor was up there digging away, oblivious to the goings-on down at the house, or perhaps not. Finch got out of the car a moment later and stood next to me.

  “Go on,” he said to me. “You can’t stay here forever.”

  “Will you come with me?”

  “Sorry.” Finch shook his head. “I want to pay my respects to Miss Opal. Then see Granger. Mama’s bringing him home today.” He trailed off and looked away.

  “That’s okay,” I said.

  He gave me a hug, then turned and walked down the drive.

  I looked at Harlan’s truck, thinking about all the times I’d watched for it, listened for it, waited for it. Hundreds of times. How all of us, even Bee, had waited for him. And now he was finally here. My daddy was home and I wasn’t sure if I really cared anymore.

  Harlan was leaning nonchalantly against one of the counters. Bo was clinging to his legs and June Rain was clutching tight, too, like she was never going to let him go. They looked like desperate bugs. Even Old Jack, the traitor, was there lying like a frog-dog, his feet splayed out in back, his tail thumping on the floor. Bee was washing dishes, her back firmly to them, and I wondered if she’d even looked at him yet. The phone was ringing, but Bee ignored it. We all did.

  “I suppose you heard the news about Esme’s dinosaur,” said Bee finally, her back still to us. “That’s why you’re home, isn’t it, Harlan?”

  I looked at Harlan. He hadn’t noticed me yet, ’cause he was looking into June Rain’s eyes just the way I imagined he’d done the first time he saw her under the revival tent over in Paradise. I stood staring at him, my handsome daddy who I hadn’t seen in three years. His jet-black hair was long and there were crow’s feet around his eyes. He was wearing a denim shirt, and there were bright splatters of paint down the leg of his jeans. My eyes traveled down to his feet. He had on what looked like a brand-new pair of shiny black boots. No rainbow boots.

  Bo seemed to notice at the same time. He kneeled down, studying those new boots, probably looking for his rainbows, but of course they weren’t there. Those boots were on a bearded man named Wilson Henry, lying in the morgue in Paradise. Did Harlan know that?

  “Where’s my rainbows?” Bo said, and Harlan looked down, quickly hiding a small frown. Bee’s shoulders tensed up at the sink; she was waiting for Harlan’s answer, too.

  “Lost them in a bet.” Harlan laughed. “You’ll have to paint on some more, my sweet Bobo.”

  Bee went on washing the dishes, clanking them together as the phone rang. Ring, ring, ring ring ring. Ring, ring, ring ring ring.

  “You didn’t answer me,” Bee said. “Did you hear the news?” Ring, ring, ring ring ring. Bee grabbed the phone and took it off the hook, then went back to the dishes, all without looking at Harlan.

  Harlan smiled. “Of course, heard on the radio. But I was already on my way home anyway. Just outside of San Antonio.” He suddenly noticed me standing there.

  “Whoa!” he exclaimed. “It’s Esme. You got big!”

  Harlan reached for me, but I slipped from his grasp, just in time. As I left the room, I heard him mutter casually as though he didn’t have a care in the world, “She’s always the hard one, that Esme.”

  “She misses you the most, don’t you know that?” said Bee. But I’d already run outside, letting the screen door slam, wishing more than anything I could scream at the top of my lungs forever and forever. I didn’t hear his reply.

  I put Sugar Pie back in her pasture, fighting tears as I leaned into her. I wasn’t gonna cry over Harlan McCauley. No sirree. Never. The Bee Wagon came down the drive a few minutes later and Bee pulled over, rolling down the window. Several peach pies were on the floorboard and a covered casserole was next to her on the passenger seat.

  “I’m going over to Miss Lilah’s for a little bit. Pay our respects. Want to come?”

  I turned from her so she couldn’t see me wipe my eyes. “Nope,” I said. Miss Lilah had come to say good-bye to me already. She’d understand why I didn’t want to go now.

  “Suit yourself.”

  “Will it be enough, the money?” I asked. “Enough to save the farm?”

  Her eyes softened. “Yes, Esme, it’s more than enough. You found her for us, didn’t you?”

  “No,” I said. “Paps did.”

  The corner of her mouth twitched, transforming that unsmile into an almost, perhaps, sort-of smile, and the tears sprung to my eyes again, but these were happy tears. She hit the gas and pulled on down the drive, the curtains in the back swaying to and fro. I watched her go until a cloud of dust finally obscured the Wagon.

  Is he going to stay this time, Bee? Is my daddy going to stay? Oh, how I wanted to scream it after her.

  I went up the hill and under the big white work tent. The professor looked up briefly, then got back to work. I watched him scraping and brushing patiently, quietly, over and over in the same area. I leaned against one of the tent poles and ran m
y hand over canvas. Finally I said, “My daddy came home.” I waited to see his reaction, but there wasn’t one. He just kept on scraping, the soft sounds soothing, like the rhythm of Bee’s sewing machine, only he was releasing Louella Goodbones from the earth. He loved her already, I could see that now.

  “Do you want to help, Esme?” he asked.

  “Okay,” I answered.

  He handed me a tiny brush and we worked side by side.

  Later, walking back to the house, I found a little box sitting on the back steps. I opened it up. It was a telephone-wire ring, just like the other girls’, twisted up wildly into a blooming flower, a teeny tiny dinosaur peeking up from the center.

  We had a leftover casserole for dinner. Opal had sent it home with Bee. Bee plopped a can of mushroom soup and sprinkled Frosted Flakes on top to make it look fresh. Sweetmaw swatted Harlan when she saw him, then gave him a big kiss. Everyone sat around the table hardly talking, just the crunch, crunch of the Frosted Flakes while the professor and Harlan stared at each other. June Rain held Jewell close and barely looked up from her food. The professor said he’d be leaving soon and coming back with his students in a few days.

  I snuck out of the house after everyone had gone to bed. It was a clear night; the stars shone through the limbs of the trees, radiating like pinwheels. I saw a tiny glimmer of red hovering in the darkness. It was Harlan, leaning against a tree, smoking. A shiver went up my spine. Had it been Harlan all along?

  “You know you can’t hate me forever.” What a strange figure he made, my daddy leaning against that tree like a specter who’d been thrown up from the darkness.

  I laughed. “Oh, yes I can.”

  He took another long drag of his cigarette. “Well, I guess you can, Esme,” he said.

  “Are you leaving soon?” I yelled. “That’s all I want to know! When are you leaving?”

  He stood there, not saying a word. “Is that what you want?” he asked after a while. “Do you want me to leave?”